Running Rules

While slaving away at my job, I came across this Runner's World article. For all you runners out there, even if you have to work at your job, this is worth a read. It is adapted from Mark Remy's book, The Runner's Rule Book

Rules to Running

Expand Your Sense of Fun
As a runner, your definition of fun—which might once have included water parks, screwball comedies on DVD, and scrapbooking—must be, well, let's just say broadened and might include:

Waking up at 5:30 a.m. to run 10 miles
Running in blistering heat
Running in the rain
Running in 400-meter circles
Feeling as if your lungs are about to explode
Paying good money for the privilege of turning your toenails black
Any combination of the above

The Open-Ended Question Is Your Friend
Running with someone who's faster than you? Is this person oblivious to your gasping? If so, it's time to deploy that surefire weapon of struggling runners everywhere: Ask the offending speedster a question so broad, he or she could spend 10 minutes answering it. And just might! This is particularly useful on long hills.

"Say, how's the job?"
"Any vacation plans this year?"
"Popular culture: How about it, huh?" 

For Pete's Sake, Stand Still at Red Lights
Sharks die when they stop moving. Runners do not. Keep this in mind next time you encounter a don't walk sign at a busy intersection. There's no need to jog in place or dance from foot to foot like you have to pee. Just chill. Wait a few moments. Note: If a nonrunner waiting with you at the crosswalk is dancing from foot to foot, he or she may indeed have to pee. Give this person wide berth. 

Learn and Love The Farmer's Blow
Mastering the farmer's blow (or snot rocket) is a must for any runner. Here's how to do it right: Breathe in through your mouth, like you're gasping. Lay a forefinger against one nostril and compress firmly. Purse your lips. Cock your head slightly in the direction of the open nostril and exhale forcefully through your nose. Repeat with opposite nostril, if needed.

Running Rules of Thumb
1. If you see a porta potty with no line, use it. Even if you don't need to.
2. If you have to ask yourself, Does this driver see me? The answer is no.
3. If you have to ask yourself, Are these shorts too short? The answer is yes.
4. 1 glazed doughnut = 2 miles
5. You rarely regret the runs you do; you almost always regret the runs you skip.
6. Not everyone who looks fast really is, and not everyone who looks slow really is.
7. Nobody has ever watched Chariots of Fire from beginning to end. Not even the people who made it.
8. You can never have too many safety pins on your gym bag.
9. Running any given route in the rain makes you feel 50 percent more hard-core than covering the same route on a sunny day.
10. If you care even a little about being called a jogger versus a runner, you're a runner.