One of Mom's biggest fears/sadnesses about dying was that her grandchildren, whom she dearly loved, wouldn't remember her or know her. It is a valid concern since Afton, the oldest, was six when she passed away. I really doubt Camille will have any memories of her. She does know that Grandma died, and she remembers a few things about the funeral (and the car trip), but that's not really knowing Grandma. Mom did several things to try to help the grandkids remember her like books with inscriptions, baby blankets, clothes, and other random gifts. She also tried to take pictures with the kids and skype a lot. Really though, it's up to the parents to help them know who Grandma was, so I've tried to think of ways to do that.
The most obvious thing to do is to just talk about her--things she did, likes and dislikes, who she was. It's a simple thing, but it does take a some effort to remember. We also try to sing her songs Mom sung and play little games Mom did.
I am in the process of making these little ornaments from an old nightgown. Most of you got one already. Sorry, some of them turned out a little wonky, but it's hard to put stuffing in such a small thing and have it keep its shape. Since Mom got ornaments for the grandkids every Christmas, this made a nice keepsake.
On Mom's birthday I tried to have a favorite food in honor of her. It was more difficult than I imagined because the meals she cooked the most were not necessarily her favorites. If you have any insight on Mom's favorite foods, leave some comments on this post, We had carrot cake. Other potential foods were chicken enchiladas (the recipe in the Allred cookbook) and stuffed shells.
I did a make your own book from Walmart with pictures of Mom with Camille and Owen. I pretty much used every picture I had of Mom with my kids and put a very basic story line in about we can be with Grandma again.
One other thing I haven't done yet but want to is some sort of shadowbox type thing with the dried flowers from the burial, a few small mementos and maybe a picture. I'm not great at that type of creative project, so it's on hold until I get some inspiration on how to put something like that together.
What ideas do you have to remember Mom?
5 comments:
Good idea on the picture book! I should make a little one for Russell.
We have a picture of Mom and Russell as our computer background and Russell always sees it and talks about Grandma Scoresby when we see it.
I try to talk about Mom a lot, and mention that "Grandma Scoresby really liked..." when we are doing, singing, eating, reading, etc. something that she liked.
Once we are in the hanging pictures up phase, I want to put a picture of Mom and Russell by Russell's bed so that he can see her much more often.
It has helped that we have been to Grandma and Grandpa's house since Mom died, and he will talk about being at Grandma's house.
I hope he remembers her. If he doesn't, he will at least know her voice and what she should look like so that when they are reunited he can give her a big hug and a kiss.
I have made a baby Russell shadowbox, and the same general idea might work for you. I got my ideas from pinterest. Like this: www.pinterest.com/pin/49328558389038519/
We celebrated Chinese New year one day early, because that was mom's Birthday and she always liked celebrating Chinese New year.
Visiting grandma has a whole section in Brooke's baby book. I would also like a picture of her and Brooke to hang up in Brooke's room.
Great post, Sarah. I love the book idea---I'm going to look into making one too.
We also try to talk about Grandma a lot, and mention her often in our prayers. (Give Grandma hugs and kisses for us and tell her we miss her.) This has prompted some questions (from Macey) about Heaven, Grandma, Logan and what happens when we die. She's asked some good questions. Whenever she asks what she's doing up there, I like to tell her she and Logan are hanging out petting Tiger and Girlie and probably a bunch of other kitties. :) When Macey tells me she misses her, I remind her know that she is now with Logan so he's not lonely and that makes her happy and helps us think of them both.
We've also tried to keep up on traditions that remind us of her such as the Valentine name cookies and the crackers on New Years.
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