What I will be doing in my spare time

DU hosts Stephenie Meyer Writing Contest

By Daily Universe

- Fri, 10/09/2009 - 11:38

Photo illustration by Jamison Metzger and Marianne Jolley

In 1982, the English Department at San Jose State University sponsored the first Bulwer-Lytton Contest, which the contest’s Web site describes as “a whimsical literary competition that challenges entrants to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels.”

The contest was named after the otherwise eminently forgettable Victorian novelist Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, who opened one book with the line since made famous by Snoopy, “It was a dark and stormy night.”

With grateful acknowledgements to the folks at San Jose State, The Daily Universe and Friday411 have decided to sponsor a writing contest of its own. But since few people on
this campus know who Bulwer-Lytton is, we have decided to sponsor our first Stephenie Meyer
Writing Contest.

In case you have been on a mission since 2005, Stephenie Meyer is the BYU English graduate who penned the best-selling “Twilight” series of novels. While Meyer has made coffin-loads of money, some in the book world have questioned the literary quality of her efforts. A review in the New York Times said “Twilight” “suffers at times from overearnest, amateurish writing.”

We are not literary critics, but that review might have been referring to such gems as:

“Edward in the sunlight was shocking. I couldn’t get used to it, though I’d been staring at him all afternoon. His skin, white despite the faint flush from yesterday’s hunting trip, literally sparkled, like thousands of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface. He lay perfectly still in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare. His glistening, pale lavender lids were shut, though of course he didn’t sleep. A perfect statue, carved in some unknown stone, smooth like marble, glittering like crystal.”

This contest, inspired by the upcoming release of Meyer’s second movie, “New Moon,” is an opportunity for BYU students to test their writing mettle against the standard set by Ms. Meyer.

Write us a paragraph of purple prose, emulating as closely as possible Meyer’s overearnest style, though it does not necessarily have to come from the “Twilight” storyline. Winners will receive valuable prizes. Rules for the contest are as simple as baseball apparently is to vampires:

■ Each entry must consist of a single paragraph, no more than 100 words, and you may submit up to three entries.

■ Entries must be original and previously unpublished.

■ Entries must be submitted via e-mail; write the entry in the body of the message, not in an attachment.

Include your name and phone number. Send entries to: Friday411@byu.edu

■ The deadline is noon, Thur., Nov. 5.

■ Three prizes will be awarded. First-place winner will receive dinner and “New Moon” movie tickets for two.

Second-place winner will receive “New Moon” movie tickets and popcorn for two. Third-place winner will receive

“New Moon” movie tickets for two. Tickets may be used for another film.

■ Winning entries will be published in the Nov. 13 edition of The Daily Universe’s Friday411.

■ Employees of The Daily Universe may flex their creative minds and participate, but are not eligible to win the prizes

If you have any ideas for one of my three entries, just let me know.